| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2008|07:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
Nine of wands
VIIII the hermit
reverse six of coins
ace of cups
reverse seven of cups
two of coins
ace of coins
with that said anyone care to speculate on my life atm
that said my phones been turned off by my stepdad so i have no easy way to be contacted right now, im me chances are ill get back to you quick as i can |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2007|08:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  despair | ] |
Despair. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|10:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | not here, but there | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Motion City Soundtrack- lgfuad | ] |
So as I assume most of you know, I'm going to be away till late Sunday night.
Now what I would like to do is ask a favor of all you who see this.
I would ask that you post whatever you want to tell me but don't due to social grace, the things you normally do not tell to the person. Tell me what type of person I am in your eyes, the good and bad. Say what you think could help me. Say anything you want to. While I would like for you all to post under your own names, I more then understand if you want to be anonymous so the post is going to be open. I am also setting it so that all comments will be screened, that way you can say if you don't want other to see it.
I Shall be looking forward to reading it all when i get back, regardless of what may be said. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 26th, 2007|08:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cynical | ] |
so yeah im sitting shiva tommarow evening as well, please for my scraps of tattered sanity try and stop by. food or other consumable gifts welcome.
17 warner ct
huntington ny 11743
get your own directions |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2007|09:48 pm] |
tomorrow 2-4 7-9
during the 7-9 is the service
call me for directions when your all close to my house if you want to come |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 22nd, 2007|11:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
The world just became a darker place. |
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| open gaming |
[Apr. 2nd, 2007|09:50 pm] |
so heres how it goes. It is now the second day of April, and I now feel the need to warn all of you I didn't get a shot at, that you are fair game for the rest of the month, the only way out is to prank me first. anything done in good fun, nothing to mean, is acceptable. the more ridiculously elaborate the job the better.
at the end of the month scores will be tallied and the best prank will be rewarded.
good hunting all. |
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| bay shore |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|10:23 pm] |
so yeah I'm moving to bay shore in a few hours.
I am going to be living in a large room in a house, with a roommate who only speaks spanish *sigh*
this is gonna be interesting
on the good side gonna be living near Dylan so this could play out well
if all goes well i wouldn't be home oft enough to make a mess
well that said hectic as all hell day tomorrow but if it works out ill be more then happy as a result. |
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| appartment hunting |
[Nov. 9th, 2006|02:16 am] |
so long story to short i need to find a place to live by sunday, so basicaly im fucked.
i have money and am looking at appartments but im trying to stay near the school and im fucked for work of course
school too
man why did this have to happen now
i mean i knew it would soon but why now
couldnt it have waited till the end of the danmed semester when i was expecting it
so yeah thats that, if you know of anything or can help drop a line
fucking rains it pours
not to mention thats the weather |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2006|08:22 pm] |
hi. i havent been updated in a while.
this is all you are going to get.
<3 rachel |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2006|06:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home again | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rip slyme- super shooter | ] |
despite massive and utter sleep deprivation id have to say that boston was fucking beyond amazing, got to catch up with people i havent seen in ages, meet tons of new people, have shitloads of fun and of course a full batch of chimeras blood utra strength was brought and passed among many people. after i finaly found some chalk even tough the buster wasnt quite done and needs an overhaul for july and conneticon it got quite the attention and tons of laughs at the derogitory cloud remarks.
"im with the spikey haired idiot"
"single parent, please give gil to support my whiny spike haired child"
and finaly cutting straight to the point
"cloud sucks"
but the fun doesnt stop there, my buster might appear appear on dominic deegan, being used to kill mookie. ahh we can hope |
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| heartless, nobodies, and people |
[Apr. 25th, 2006|12:43 am] |
after playing kh2 for as long as i have been ive been stewing this over in my mind for a while
in the game there are the heartless, beings so lost in darkness that their very hearts leave there bodies and seek out and destroy the hearts of others, nobodies, bodies with no hearts completely retaining all of the higher functions but lacking the abilities granted by possesion of a heart such as feelings and morality, and then there are your regular people, containing both a heart and a body they live their everyday lives mostly without regard for these facilities they take for granted.
however its not quite that simple. Nobodies wish to be whole so much so that they sometimes act like a normal person, showing fake feelings and going so far as to fool themselves sometimes.
so far nothing you wouldn't have learned from playing a few min of the game. now think about these three groups in terms of the world around you. heartless loose themselves and seek to drag others down with them, there are many different types of people like this in the world, even if your just looking at it from an emotional standpoint. normal people are a rather obvious catagory.
But then we come to Nobodies. a creature of intelect without emotions, seems simple enough, fitts into society as the sociopaths and the like. but on a closer look as people that fool themselves into thinking they feel when they really don't how can you pick one out so easily. if they look and act exactly as one would expect someone to act in a given situation, always matching their responses to whats expected of them, would they even know after long enough? what would it take to remind them of what they truely are, or if theyve never even known it how can they be shown the truth?
so here is the question, what are you?
and another question, which would you want to be? |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2006|02:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | panic at the disco- i write sinds not tragedies | ] |
interesting break all in all. went to dc, hung out with rin, began repairing a rift ive been dealing with for a while, stole form the lawfully apointed government of canada. and finaly i now have a pet gecko. his name is gendo. hes cool. all additionaly angst and drama shall be withheld for now. |
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| who am i? |
[Mar. 18th, 2006|01:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | armor for sleep - remember to feel real | ] |
because everyone else has done it i might as well
--THEATER KID--
[x] Ever been in a play?
[x] Have you ever seen a Broadway show?
[] Seen more than 10 shows?
[x] Have you ever been/Are you in school shows?
[ ] Does your current job involve theater in some way?
[ ] Want to end up working in/for theater
[x] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[x] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever?
[ ] Do you like the Sound of Music?
[x] Did you like the Broadway show?
Total X: 6
--REDNECK--
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[ ]Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[ ] Do you ride four-wheeler?
[]Do you like to get dirty?
[ ]Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[x] Do you live on more then 1 acre?
[ ] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?
[ ] Do you watch Larry the Cable Guy movies?
Total X: 1
-GOTH--
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x] Is most of your clothing dark?
[x] Do you think about death often?
[x] Do you want to die?
[x] Are you a social outcast?
[x] Are you pale?
[ ] do you like Hot Topic?
[x] Do you enjoy Tim burton movies?
[x] Are you mean?
Total X: 8
--PUNK--
[ ] Can you skateboard?
[ ] Do you wear Vans, dvs, converse, ect.?
[x] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[x] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[ ] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] Do you like/wear a Mohawk?
[ ] Do you wear Band T-shirts?
[x] Are you a rebel without a cause?
[ ] Have you called someone a poser recently?
Total X: 4
--PREP--
[ ] Do you say the word "like" a lot?
[x] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/AEO/Aero? (
[ ] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[ ] Do you laugh a lot when your with your friends/girlfriend or boyfriend?
[ ] Have/do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[ ] Do you like pop music?
[ ] Do you have a little dog
[ ] Do you smile & laugh a lot!
[ ] Do you hang out with your friends a lot?
[ ] Do you always carry a purse/wallet?
Total X: 1
--HIPPIE--
[x] Is your hair longish?
[ ] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do you want to save the animals?
[ ] You think war is unnecessary?
[x] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[x] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
[ ] Do you play a eukalele or os?
[x] Do/have you ever smoked the "peace pipe"?
Total X: 5
--GANGSTA--
[ ] Do you act ghetto?
[ ] Do you wear do-rags?
[ ] Do you like hip-hop?
[ ] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[ ] Do you like Afros?
[x] Have you ever said Fo Shizzle?
[ ] Do you like to dance?
[1] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
Total X: 1
in my defense it was for a comedy show
--EMO-
[ ] Do you cry often?
[x] Do you wear hoodies?
[ ] Do you like hard music?
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[x] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[x] Have you ever cut yourself
[x] ARE U LONELY?
[ ] Do you like "Ohio is for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights?
[x] Do you think a lot?
Total X: 7
--SURFER--
[ ] Do you surf?
[ ] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[ ] Is your hair shaggy?
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[ ] Are you tan?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x] Do you hate tourists?
[x] Do you love the water?
[ ] Do you own a rash guard?
Total X: 4
--BROHOE--
[ ] Do you own srh?
[x] Do you smoke?
[ ] Do you own a bong?
[x] Have you ever broken the law?
[ ] Do you listen to Kottonmouth Kings or Kingspade?
[ ] Do you wear SoCal?
[ ] Have you ever said DGAF?
[ ] Do you wear bandanas?
[ ] Do you hate Emo's?
[ ] Have you ever had weed with you at school?
Total X: 2
--GEEK--
[ ] Do you wear glasses?
[ ] Do you get good grades?
[x] Do you use an inhaler?
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x] Are you on the computer often?
[x] Do you ever get picked on?
[x] Do you look forward to going to school?
[ ] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[x] You play video games?
Total X: 5
so there you have it, as great as these things are for catagorizing yourself... yeah its bullshit.
there is probly a lot of more important issues to adress but oh well
ill leave you with this parting image of my thumb
 |
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| once tasted always sought |
[Feb. 25th, 2006|12:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | just for the irony, head automatica - the razor | ] |
something i learn and always forget
once a blade has tasted your blood it always looks for more
case in point
carving my staff with an exacto, i cut myself, no big deal keep working, five min later cut myself again still no big deal keep working, half and hour later another small cut, half hour....
huge gaping cut in my thumb to the bone bleeding everywhere and i have to go to the hospital after finding my mom passing out convulsing and loosing bladder controll during the convulsions on the floor...
so ambulances are good round my house, not even ten min and i have an ambulance crew a cop and three other emts in the house working on me...
get to the hospital and im glad i brought my book cause im in the waiting room for at least an hour then finaly into the hospitol proper and get looked at half hour later, half hour after that a med tech comes in to stich me up and declares i have cut my tendon and will need a minor operation, hour later after he goes to get in contact with doc for it he says im stiching you up and your getting the tendon taken care of in the morning... so i finaly get home at midnight... *sigh* this sucks
so my staff is going to run way behind schedule and i almost had all the blade work on it done too.
exacto blade going in garbage and handle boiled for awhile.
have the surgery tommarow at 12:30 feel free to call me after three oh 631 486 8793 to talk
ok please call me i like to know that people care, also im feeling lonley here people i miss you all hell the nearest friends are an hour away either south or east. i could realy use the comfort. danm i sound pathetic
oh well |
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| playlist |
[Feb. 23rd, 2006|05:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | listed | ] |
i swear my computer has a rather mean ai
my playlist since ive woken up
The Flaming Lips- Do you realize?
Armor for Sleep- My Town
Rammstein- Feuer und Wasser
Death Cab for Cutie- All is Full of Love
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION- Yoru no Mukou
WEEZER- You gave your love to me softly
40 Below Summer- Monday Song
Avenged Sevenfold- Remenissions
Three Days Grace- I hate everything
The Flaming Lips- Feeling yourself disintegrate
Alkaline Trio- All on Black
AVENGED SEVENFOLD- Clairvoyant Disease
Guster- I spy
Avenged Sevenfold- And All Things Will End
does it think i get the point yet?
figure out what its saying and youll see whats up with me like usual |
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| pics |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|01:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Postal Service- such great heights | ] |
so long eventfull not even over weekend, im happy and ill tell details to those who ask. the short version hung out at southshore mall, and had a great time pics to ensue(yeah im pulling the same thing you do rin youll have to teach me how to do those condensed posts sometime) after the mall, monique dylan krista(floe) and i headed to moes in james car(just met him that day hes most def. cool) after hanging out for a while at moe's and suffering masssive alergy attack's me and krista headed down the street to get medecine and came back with chinese food instead(herbal remedies) we all crashed up in moniques room for the night. then the next day headed to a park where me and dylan walked through the woods and i found this tree that just called to me and i knew i had to have it. there was a creeper vine starting to work on it so it would have died anyway so i didnt feel to bad bout felling it. it barely fit in the car with 4 people and two dogs plus driver on the way back. also in the park was this awsome garden of fallen trees that i so want to camp in even if its not legal. definatley durring the summer if i can convice everyone. next we headed back to my house at which point dylan and moe both left us and me and krista hung out and had pizza, as hard as it is to believe shed never had garlic knots before.here are the pics
 krista as we hung out after getting kicked out of the arcade by an uber bitch
 dressup in hot topic part one, dylan as a emo kid (he was supposed to wear a pink button down but it "wouldnt fit" he still end up looking good and it was so worth the evil pleasure of it
 krista looking amazing even if she didnt think so
 same as the last but this time we had to actualy corner her in the dressing room for the pic, i mean she looks amazing doesnt she
 moe part one
 part two, looking angry cause of the comment dylan made
 part three where she pities victorian women
shes got a perfect body type the lucky girl looks good in everything shes put in. dylan has a great girl even if she wears flannel and hes convinced sometimes shes a lesbian.... ok it was a joke you dont have to kill us moe
 sean from school looking oh so pretty
 arent they such a cute couple, the morning in moes house, dylan snores even if he says he doesnt. both of them are such sound sleepers we were walking around for a while and it took the dog to wake them up
 moe and floe
 further proof... put the knife down moe
did i forget to mention that me and krista are dating now oh well then.
 we are and i couldnt be happier shes amazing
hows that for run on sentences and bad grammar rin, so ha i will not fix it up because i just dont wanna |
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|
| freaking out |
[Feb. 10th, 2006|12:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Head Automatica- the razor | ] |
so what would you say is worse, finding out that your manic depressive or that everyone has been right and your so used to depression that you tell everyone your not because to you its your normal state of mind and therefor doesn't seem like depression. I mean first of all nothing sucks more then finding all this out by becoming badly manic for a few days then crashing back down to depression again after it. well that is where i stand now. i really need something to stabilize my life and make me happy again but well in the last few years that happened so often. all of twice and of course those times lasted so long. this fucking sucks, and being able to see just how depressed i am is really the worst part. |
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|
| stuff |
[Jan. 27th, 2006|05:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | senses fail- bite to break skin | ] |
so my birthday is on tuesday, yay(much sarcasm). im bored senseless have no friends around at all, constantly being threatend to be kicked out of my house. hopefully starting school this week, a week after the term started because my transcript got there late, finaly getting a new phone so ill be able to call once i remake my phone book.
on the cool side i found this http://www.estarland.com/AnimeMerchandise.product.24484.html i really want it but have no money nor even when i get my job will be able to due to backowed gifts... hint. well thats about that. missing being upstate and so cant stand living at home |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|01:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | fuck it all | ] |
| [ | music |
| | in the end - linkin park | ] |
why does it take so very much for a person to see the truth sitting right in front of them. why is it that songs once heard and thought to be understood completely change meanings with experiance and come to define your entire life. why the fuck am i such a fucking idiot. ive spent myself by loosing my heart and head over two people all the while loosing contact with one of the few people who could help me sort it out and even then i still dont treat her well enough when i talk to her. i am on the verge of loosing myself and giving over to loki and even when i tried that i got yelled at over it i realy dont fucking care anymore so why bother i think ill bring him out just for the fun of what he does and what the consequences will be. but life is life i must still live as much as i dont want to |
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edges_world's journal
introspective